..its "ToloSHI Time" ;) ...its almost as If I am waiting for the "big bang"...
not the universal theory that scientists promote but the global social & cultural explosion that we see escalating world wide ..i noticed a graph since '79 that showed the escalation of protests every year until now..
and demos everywhere are opposing the system..after all it makes sense doesnt it, why would u feed a monster that is choking you, stealing your land, polluting the air your breathe and excluding opportunities for your children, and which violates every human right that even its "democratoc states" signed & pledged to honour..
its happening "local & global"..and this last weekend we continued to honour Shanks birthday, THE MAN who was my "mentor" though i never met him, influenced me as much as anyone, inc. John Lennon, Ghandi, ("Robin Hood"). Luther King, Mandela...
 |
| The "Turnir Location" = "Katun Sportski Club" @ Tolosi |
... I am tending my "wounds" a few bruises from the weekend,and muscle aches ..i played 3 hrs of footy!
https://www.facebook.com/events/291348497676986/
Djordje .. a young lad i know from Belgrade (Lfc fan) I know came to the "fudbal party" and 2 basketball lads from barcelona, so we had "Internazionale team" (from Barca, Napoli, Podgorica, and me , the alien!!)
 |
| NOT the "Internazionale tREdS" ;) |
i nearly killed myself putting up the big family tent in the garden on my own in the sun friday.. i missed dancing with Raech, one of the english CSerS visiting me the previous weekend , but she might have got distracted by the fit young boys everywhere ha ha ... anyway.... so I am just resting today, probably do nothing and "ice" my bruises, right now, i need a nurse.. volunteers anyone....nope ... probably not...
if ever she wanted an "older man , whose a bit of a gypsy, i am here, but "HER Chris" must be mad to let HER "loose" on the world ) ha ha.. maybe we meet again in another universe..
yes ... I AM in a good & cheeky mood . not only played 3 hrs of footy this weekend ,had great moments, and "discussions" with locals & visitors and i could have danced all night (with the right partner..but..) .. invented a new "cock-tale" called "ToloSHi" and ....well the rest you must just wait until BBc reports it.. which they wont! 
FC SS tefanovi got the league cup trophy and 6 shirts.. "tREdS" won the "friendship trophy" a) for letting the teams beat them on saturday and b) because "Ugo's prima donnas" team didnt make the final match sunday... internazionale tREds= Fabrizio, (napoli) Miguel & Ferran (Barca.) Gazda, Milo, Basha & Andrea (Pg) and ME..(Lp)
"Ugo" had "cronied" the turnir, booking his buddies teams to shut out all others.. well at least Ugo got "his teams" there "on time"..BUT sundaycomplicated by stefanovi! and a problem of arrogance..... Ugo often complains about politicians being corrupt and "looking after" THEIR Buddies, but as soon as HE gets some "power" he does the same, hes more than a hypocrite
also I had a bunch of good lads waiting "in reserve" if they had played the saturday league would not have been won by the "flash" SS tefanovi..
 |
| PRIMA..donnas! :) |
Ugljesa is like a spoilt child, boy, with negative attitude.. immature attitude..
i dont want to argue with ugo, i wanted to co-operate, this is my home..he mentioned a previous "turnir" ..he was wrong.... it wasnt last year , it was two years ago and i knew even less people, and got even less "co=op" from locals...and ugo had "Dropped" the ukranian lad and Fab from the team, so they didnt help me..either.....someone gave the england lads the wrong info ..so they didnt come
...
 |
Note team repesentatives ; a) should HAVE added themselves to OUR group, b) attand a meeting on 1 sept. and friday 6th sept. @ Tolosi, c) pay entrance fee to Gazda prior to turnir...
game that night wasnt half as good as the previous Sunday, some lads turned up with the wrong attitude and one ("Messi" ) thinks he is the whole team! , greedy & selfish, no place for him in our club team next time..if he plays like that, I saw more of the ball sitting on the bench!! ..football = TEAM game!!!
whatever i want, "doesnt matter " to ugo, hmmmm well there u go!!! U GO!
I know ugo brings a team+ every sunday, but, the turnir was my idea, and i have put a lot of time & energy into this and ugo has blocked any other team, ugo dont respect my request (several sms) to put contact info on the FB group..by booking all the places with teams, that didnt exist until ugo persuaded buddies, to "register", none of whom had confirmed(?) ..then ugo says "dont worry" ..well I am investing MY energy into making a true commuinity club..that benefits Y-OUR people! (one of the "regular teams" was turned away by Gazda, I hold Ugo completely responsible for any team that dont turn up.. )
then he"poached " players that play for our team, and that is against the spirit of the "We are the club" that I am trying to develop, i sponsor and support, supply t-shirts (which i gave ugo free!!) and a trophy too.. he decided that Ugo & Fab can select the teams that last night, without reference or respect to me, Ugo's buddies@ Lfc MNE form a fan club NGO without any respect either!
so, what ugo dont know is the the Tolosi club is going to be developed, and U can either be part of it or not, dont EVER "challenge" me again.. I dont have to explain anything to you, u are still responding like a boy.
dont ever question MY "commitment" to team or making the best out of the community i live in, without prejudice!
so UGO, IF YOU READ this, hold back on your sarcasm, even if u dont understand me, you dont understand the Liverpool that Shanks gave me, or that playing football is the most important thing, even more than supporting Liverpool, especially as i know the time i have left to play .. is limited,,so i take it immensely "personal" when it gets spoilt..ChRiS
Ugo , not only a hypocrite, he lied, and said his team had already planned to watch basket. but he knew the Turnir was over 2 days@ 19h each time.. .a bunch of "prima donnas "...
 |
| NOT Raquel.. |
for Raquel A, Raechel, W & the lads ; Aldous Huxley quote: "Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
Raquel had H-Hiked earlier this summer around the Balkans from Barca to Istanbul and with me a short but sweet 24 hrs... she asked me after the aunt of her grandma died, a new experience of death in her family in their little village. "Do u believe on reincarnation?"
 |
| Raquel & me, In Podgorica |
there is no one left in my own family to mourn but i understand how she feels! ... hmmm
a) I believe whatever YOU believe, is TRUE to you..
b) there are energies ("spirits" ) that are within and without us... that move in time and dimensions.. in a way reincarnation is an interpretation of that.. to fully answer , we would have to have a looonng conversation, if ever she comes back, to me, i would enjoy that
.. cuvaj se (take care) Raquel, just remember you have a good in you, keep your focus on that whatever happens around you!
I wrote "references" for my CSerS from Shrewsbury & Hartlepool/Newcastle ...Helen & Raechel
so, Helen , the "quiet one" of the two
for her, CSing is new?
something of a "thinker"
I'd have made a proposal, if she waS A "drinker"
BUT brave enough to dance with me ! ;)
didnt need vino or Rakija , you see,
and I enjoyed her company
hope she enjoyed "Monty and me"
(unaffecetd by Rakija)
ChRiS x
and so... a poEm for Raechel with an e...as in Shrewsbureeeeee
its almost 03 h and i hear them giggling away,
Raechel and her mate Helen who came to stay
this weekend, talked about everything in a funny way.
and although i missed the win v mancs, WE had a great day//
helen on the juice, was very sweet
they both wore feminine, vey neat
filled them with stories, rakija, vino and pasta
i am glad the days didnt go faster
strange how some people touch my soul
chatty girls they can be but thewy have a role..
i host ,i cook and oh loved to dance with them too (two)
if they were solo, oooh i wonder what i might do
 |
| a true PRIMA donna = Raech...touring the Balkans, Here @ "Tara" ...;) |
so I say "farewell" and i mean it from the heart
monday to SA you go with an early start
if u come back u are welcome here,
this is my home and also yours when u want, my dear!
happy birthday kidder
ChriS x
Raech shared her birthday , the day they left,,,with the most influential man of my life..
i know she wont find time to read this... http://antichrismith.blogspot.com/ ...YET!
its emotional when someone i like very much leaves.. I went for a run in the sun ..
aND yet another promise broken ; Oransonia "ciao here am I, dear Chris, sorry if i am not sure to come" blah blah blah..
another birthday girl... the portugese from Paris , with a name that sounds like "O reilly" who pretended to be a "journalist" or ....a cameraman..deserved this;
"allez O'reilly ? no shes "A. P.M"
a cameraman, who is feminine :)
came as a spy, to visit me
not much time foir her Monty to see
but some talk, vino and a cheeky grin
a taste of monteneGRIN
have a great life and see u on the other side
of this universe, far and wide ;)"
ChRiS x
"iRiS".... for yr birthday :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajyu0Zue0FA
and "GI" who was a teacher in Vilnius .. was going to have a chinese adventure changes to USA...
???
Gi stated that she
may be "just silly girl "and to "let it go", she SAYS don't feel strong enought or tusting my abilities yet. too much doubt and don't want to do anything if unsure. Communication is allways unexpected, with me, ups and downs and she questions what kind off value i offer...
of course she dont, i do NOT "offer" it..i am not "selling anything" ..the truth is the value, but if u cant identify and value it, then thats precisely why i "bother" with her,i "bother" because i care, and i dont have enough years to waste chasing HER, if she takes time, to slow down, breathe, meditate, shut out all the BS around , then she might see who i am.. !
she
assumes that I will be here , for her when she needs me,
but she is
unaware,, proven by her question.. she dont use the 95% of ability and dont understand "communication" or the value offered to her.. S
aule Gi
She thinks I am upset about the world being "lassitude"? she thinks it's hard for me, i dont beg for her time she is not aware ebough to WANT my time....I AM Sorry, for her...
"upset" ? that comment, really ...she makes so many mistakes about me...and herself, its not about what I "want" its about what she wastes! ..she has the intellect but throw it away... and its tragic
& loses my
empathy...
WEApONS of MALE DEStRUCTION ?
I saw
a really BEAUTIFUL picture on a local girls timeline..
.. I told her she looks so different in each picture..like a different girl each time :0
(
Ivona Z.)
we met a few times, but shes "too clever" to use MY "experience"...
==========
Elif is a nice girl , and writes sensible & provocative comments on the net, keeps me informed .. she is o
n the road, on a hitchiking trip. Cant really be online much.
When I play, a good game, or have good win, when i enjoy my footy , i could give a f**k about the women here! or the fannies
===========
its several months since MY last contact (no reply from her!) with Suzy (Iz) and I suppose i am still a bit angry about her reaction last november, anyway , I had to smile, I had a dream recently one night
... about us.. U looked different, white not blond hair, and we tried to kiss, but we both kept laughing.. ..thats all i remember ,
Suzy
. changed name and other stuff....had some problems on fb....it's not about you..a short summer holiday,@ home all the time...serious problems,with her head,it's not good and she is young...she knows I am angry,OFCOURSE...and i understand..
but she saus I am WELCOME IN her HOUSE, she wants to see a shrink???....&crying all the time, like going to have a stroke...she is not strong enough anymore...I told her I am still
alone.. but not defeated!
she dont need a shrink..she needs to breathe!
The "Mila story" I had watched footy with Fab & Milos and the Lfc ladies from 13h, we end up later @ "Berlin " drinking "pivo"s ..(i usually dont drink beer)
@ about 22h we were ready to go home.. but..
M. surprises me and arrives there ...she talks with Fab. until he leaves
and I suggest we go inside listen to music, (i am a bit "drunk" but aware that I need to "move" (dance..maybe)
.. the music is not so great, but M. makes no effort to smile or talk with me , just staring blank..
... but a song comes on that we could dance to, but she "dont want" so
i (as usual ) am direct, "why dont you want to dance with me"? ,,no response, she wants to go,
I ask "do you want to go home with me?) no response..
so i say " if u dont talk, dont dance , and dont want to come home with me?
what are you doing here ? so she storms off
...thanks very much for nothing ! M, I can be miserable with or without her! = without her is cheaper, and less pain. whatever her problems, i am not prepared to carry the BS, IMO she is a spolit brat, just another fee-male "user". ... which was my first instinct when she sat next to us, was right, I must remember to trust that,
...always..
i know M. has real problems, but her attitude is wrong.. I didnt chase her, and wont.. i've told her what I think, and thats that!
hope u enjoy yr sunday, i am just "drying out" hopefully in time for the game tonight, I can live without fee-males but would be harder to live without the footy!
well, its up to me too, not to chase hr.. she probably gets her money today, so I doubt if she will "need" me..
yeah , sometimes it gets hard..
obviously u had a poor education, .. footy is the only game of life.. the social side is important too,
but we had a really great game the following sunday night, best so far, and won by a couple of goals , Ugos team also commented on the game , it was so competitive
.. we had a period of 15 mins when neither team could score.
a couple of beers after , and "bonding in the bar" after , without any fee-male complex confusing the atmosphere..
========================================
..."modern" Fee-males can seem like THE "curse of the Universe"
..but what is worse? ..when men who act like them too,
.............always looking to make a problem...instead of a solution!
(see Ugo above???)
"these days" i have to be "awake" ..good job this is not a job..(thats irony in case u didnt notice...)
just to round off that "week's weak" .. an "old flame" (well she was, is 20 years younger than me, ...)
was invited to visit me in september, and i confirmed flights & paid for her & her daughter to travel here, (she had some problems years ago
...& was sympatico.) found that she missed noticing an important appointment during the time she shd be here, after, I already booked (paid) for her tickets
.. so thats it... "game over" i am back to football.& start coaching next month too.
... footy is what saved me this week. ha ha ha..
i dont "run away" from visitors, even yankers, y) but i had to laugh at myself this morning
.., 2 girls from barcelona, arrived early one morning, at the mini-market, then left..without telling me, i am not sad about women, I am just angry with myself that I wasted my time on them...thats it, i really dont want to complain any more
...life goes on...(not) all good
I dont need to learn anything about women... I know the problem... the 2 girls didnt tell me they were here.. and i dont know what happened , the girl in the market told me, that they had arrived at the shop, but I told them to send me an sms when they got to Toloshi, they didnt and I havent had any news from them .. it is BS!
the time was wasted, these last few weeks, only because I chose to give women another chance.. my choice, my error, nothing to learn, just simple
.. nothing to make the best of...no big philosophy to discuss,,,just a choice.. i wasted my time, i am just angry with myself, because I dont have so much to waste!
I know hats best for me... I just like to "test frontiers" from time to time, and see if things have changed or are possible..well ....they are not, yet//... ;)
...
 |
| Borat2 's radio.... |
its "one of those times" Borat2 has thrown a paddy because I wont reaply to a stream of sms he keeps sending me, the last visitors stayed at his home not at the cabin, and when he decided to come back with them to Pg and bring his son over night (to stay @ "my lodge") without agreement, I told him clearly that he was going too far.. so he sms the guests and unloaded on them!!
and ..it seems an american deaf & Dumb couchsurfer wants to stay 7 nights with me, she cant lip read or understand any other language..
???
I already closed things with borat2, its obvious, hes not crazy, crazy is ok, hes insane.. the "deaf " girl is probably a scam.. another time -waster..
hmmm still think it could be fun to have a team game .. footy v "ultimate" ..
and GLOBAL
Nostalga .. saying goodbye to the "boy who was C.R.S" ..
Canvey-eyeLand, migrains, elections not erections..Motown, Santana, Beatles, rock, & dancing in living room,
family, mum & dad, love, footy & music..Liverpool REds, London (swinging) learning, office boy, docks, trucks &
containers, travel, wine, women song.. nasties, team captain, wife, Sarah, Adam..million, Seabrook the sh*thead, Trentino
and winning, Soul, Luther, Benson, women, gold-diggers and groupies(?) French, Nicole, Natalie, Shelly, Lynn K (actress) and L
inda..the destruction..betrayed by brother, & losing . sister hurt my mother.. lost an empire, won my sanity..game over
this has kept me focussed .
sponsored by ChriSmitH.ecologic.academy
all to honour the man that influenced me most..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE MAN... no one greater in the history of modern society , NO ONE! the TRUE man of the people, children should read his auto biography before they learn anything else,! shakespeare socrates and all the other "writers" ??? this man DID it... he created a global family bigger than most nations on this planet!!
=============================
The BMMers planned a meeting (AGAIN) at the same time.. its
too easy to misunderstand me, and i am angry with the B(u)MMers!! those people also pretended to be "friends"
i'll survive .. c1A ....0h oh 7! :) (private joke!)
LBJ, Nixon, Reagan, Bush1 Clinton, Bush2 and now "Liberal Obama"
... (wont share "evidence" with anyone who dares question the USA's "policemen"..) go to war because otherwise why do they spent TRILLIONS of dollars on weapons?????????????? .. an "enemy" is required
... where were the USA and its poodles when there was genocide in african conflicts??? (or anywhere where they have no "strategic interests" ??
getting a feeling of "deja vu" ..10 years ago the USA "had absolute evidence" of "WMD" .. which "justified" the invasion of baghdad, and over a million civilian casualties since then..("good job"?) of course no one wants any one or any govt to use chemicals or other WMD at all, but guess who has used such weapons the most in the last 50 years?? USA???
and of course the USA dont comply with "global warming-warnings" yet as i look out my window at a unique "winter rain" in the middle of a Monty summer (usually 40 degress C.) /.....?? i wonder just how stupid the sheeple are??? (as california burns...!)
young people are sharing...it took a financial catastrophe for them to realise it, shame the education of people is so blind!
oh, is that china being flooded too?? , ...of course pumping 6 billion tonnes of poison into the atmosphere every year CANT have caused any harm , can it???
The people are EVOLVING...>>????
or not.................
I have lost EVERYone i ever loved,, Mum, Dad, sister, Son & wife, those that didnt die were stolen, I survived,, and i know u dont want to read this.. or anything that may ruin your image of me.. but anyway.. http://eured.wordpress.com/page/11/
i still expect empathy in a world where it is so rare, and selfish.
=============
Like wih
Iris, i explained why i offered to host her for a holiday, but she only recalls that bad memory, not that I gave HER a "chance" or that I was affecetd too, nor that HER government was to blame.
.. but she tried to control this FREE offer from me,
and i am not rich, so i DO mention the cost, because I live on a voluntary budget, makes me think that the biggest mistake she made is NOT to come,
I get a lot of visitors, and i try to show them alternatives,POSITIVE alternatives..
I attacked the system, and the system reacted ...
...and so called "friends" betrayed me, u didnt show any care what happened to me, that I was kept in a military style detention
, with no support from anyone, for almost 24 months on & off by your govt. that they cut me off from everyone,
and made sure I lost my son, permanently.. I was NEVER CONVICTED of any crime, but in B.R.D its only necessary to accuse someone to be "alienated"
I made a claim against the (ILL)
legal ombudsman, aND of course in the SICK system the Ombudsman own team will decide
to ensure i do not get access to my deceased wife Jacquis estate; an insurance policy I paid for..
====================
Whistleblower (film) criminals paid by governments and corporations who violate the people they are meant to serve, ..continued.....V Iraqui & Afghan civilians?? this is the "war" you tax-payers sanction! enabled by governments you vote for!
H-Hing is becoming more and more popular in the Balkans, not surprisingly girls get picked up quickest..
------------------------------------------
all of MNE on the right____??????? ...people with "no time" because they are busy doing nothing! except wasting each others time???
I took a "summer break" from FB..
(well , limited...)
I am back, tanned , fit and full of energy to spark to Evolutionary uprising against the "evil empire" ;)
.. people are starting to wake up...
+ Be responsible for your lives
+ dont complain, CAMPAIGN
+ dare to care, dont be selfish
+ do the right thing, because its the right thing to do
+ initiate or invest in Small-Medium enterprise (not banks, corporations or "stock")
make sure that your children learn FIRST the basic article of the Universal Declaration of human rights, because its the LAST thing applied by government offiicials..this is y-our world.. take it back from the (royal. religious, or business) thieves who stole the land from the people... they polluted the minds, the land, the water and the air of Y_OUR world..enough!
greetings from ;
---------
I had a visit from a young woman today, with her 9 year old daughter, sweet girl , but spoilt.. wanted only to eat sweets, & to watch TV, wanted to go by taxi everywhere, mind u thats just about 99,9% of the population here! :) (& worldwide?) ignored her mother, whose divorced father doesnt take any interest, shame , the mother tries to be both parents, and therefore makes the common mistake of giving the child too much and very little "guidance"
..( resulting in many social problems with young people, especially boys without good men to relate to, with single parent families), If she was my girl I would do my best guide her carefully otherwise she will become YET another beautiful but spoilt balkan brat!
I wrote this to a "busy girl" who visited me ...
after a Loooong run in the morning sun, a turkish coffee with a shot of Rakija in it...decided its time to stop bothering with a "potential" person in my life and utilise my experience. ..being "subversive" (ha ha ha..a joke of the C1a ..small "a" for a**holes !)
. .. so i will go back to being "provocative and consequent" ...campaign for the beginning of intelligence on this mad planet , and the evolution of "freedom" ("just another name for nothing left to lose"?) ..
.if U saw things from my view..the only time i see "friends" is when THEY NEED, not when I need!...
-------
"C.R.S." place..
I opened this @ FB, with 3 aims a) to exchange and support some "starters" - who obviously feel they dont need it b) to have some exchanges with just a few rather than 3000 "friends" c) gradually let those few get to know me, people ask, but its "just "polite mechanism of society" ...
, but theres no simple answer, I am everything and nothing..
if u dont follow my "timeline" it takes too long to reply.. maybe some of my comments @ https://www.facebook.com/groups/W.of.male.D/ also give u a clue?, but this is not a ""fast food" question for a simple reply..
(
C.R.S)
if you are a scouse lass like "Shirley Valentine" come to monty...u will "LUV it"
 |
| Good lad "Stee" ..for Project?? |
Aurélie Pereira Macedo ,,,is
working during some days now about "solidarity accomodation" in Provence!
I gave her virtually the last "We Are the club" t-shirt, and I want to complete our gallery in time for our next meeting,
. the "project" is taking shape, if u want to be part of it , u should decide, if u want to be included, because i need to decide who will be in it soon.. (start this winter, at laTEST spring)
=========
I helped Mila (single divorced mother) with small amount of cash, and gave her a "belated birthday present" of cash too, I gave HER a present for HER to give to her daughter for Simonidas birthday, (in case her family "suspected" a gift from a "stranger".. I fed her a few times to ease her "burden" and she was quite affectionate, but I drew the line ... (i dont need to explain that, I hope) but in these couple of weeks I noticed she came around when I could give her something or if she was getting something, this could be accidental or intentional , she kept mentioning waiting for money
..l know she had problem with the construction next to her house, (hard to sleep) and she had a "nervous rash" .. obviously the "stress" is real, but also when I tolds her i was not rich and would not be her "bank" she has found lots of "reasons" that I wont repeat NOT to visit me, my son was 17 on sunday, I could have welcomed her company, she was busy..a few small things indicate a selfish attitude which may not be her "fault" but communication AND a local mentality suggests that any relation with her could be complicated.. I told her directly that I dont play games or accept any BS, ... but
Its ALWAYS about Mila, she
said "I have lots of free time" but in reality I have seen heronce (a short time @"berlin") in SIX days..because of dentist or family or other "reasons" (?), which dont add up, I get the message!
...I wanted her to teach me Serbian/Montenegrin, but she has no time... and especially during my ESTRANGED son's birthday , i would have liked company..
I had a "go" @ Bmmer " Elisavet Bubblemaker "
I actually wrote to her on a PM, but she didnt answer.. and just because she does things her way, thats up to her, there is no "time and place" to state my feelings.. certainly she dont tell me when to state from the heart how i feel.. I said "let it go".. so let it go..c1a-0
---------------------------------------
,
some things dont add up , but I dont talk about anyone until I am sure...lets put it this way , I am being "careful" with Mila..I dont blame her...
anyway, the ideas are formulating here, for a community/creative academy ..eco village... youth centre for "start-ups"..
Leon ; estranged son now 17, then 30 months old, when he was stolen from me by a nasty mother....."her possesion"
...!! "happy birthday" (11th august)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Net.Estranged.kids/ )
Karma is not always "instant" on his birthday ....
I needed to get drunk, but Bea & Malwin went home early. Zeljko acted like a spoilt brat, Mila had to go to get up for church?? ...
so Cijana & sag. stayed and kept me company whilst I got sh+t faced!
I needed it..
11th of august, is the 17th Birthday of my estranged son Leon, who is "allowed" to email me @ birthday & xmas, we shared custody, and i was his caretaker until he was 30 months, and his mother disliked my human rights "actrivism" so, one day early in 1999 I went, as usual to collect him @ their address ..they were gone, the state refused me information as i was not "married" even in modern "germoney" ...
the mother told them not to give me info, i organised a network throughout europe for estranged parents, campaigned and organised events to make people aware, but people dont care...until it happens to them!
despite my natural rights as a father, every time i tried to see Leon, she would complicate situatio, go away or on holiday, or not come to the door, and no policeman will enforce my rights , as I am always the "alien" and the feemales of this world act as if a child is their "possesion" ..ladies you have no "special rights" we are EQUAL even if the system doesnt recognise equality or apply human rights ANYwhere in the so-called "democratic world"
I have had 30 minutes with him in the last 10 years, i get on with my life , volunteering with other children, and so on. ..but today it hurts especially
...I often send clothes and presents on birthday, xmas or in between but this time I emailed Leon to say that I will pay an economy (return) ticket for him to visit me..
as I get no information, whoever he is, he is a stranger as another man was substituted as his"papa" ..please dont tell me that "one day" he may want to know me, because ...i wont know him, a GOOD father should be there, at all times during growth to balance the feemale bias...
very few of u understand that employment of lawyers and making "politics" only feeds the system that cheats us, I made 54 complaints at the ECHR Strasbourgm and eventually sent the file to Brussels ... because after 12 years it took all my eenergy to get the complaint that far, so how many people give up, if you really want to change this,...for me and others..
a) send a birthday card to
Leon
c/o Annika Hartmann
Engelberg 10,
D79106 Freiburg
b) dont pay taxes to a system that hurts you and fails to apply your natural equality..
because.... a good father want to influence a sons life, to share the growth, to guide him from man to boy and boy to man, his mother instead found a substitute who has shared that life, if I meet Leon , he will be a stranger to me and i to him..thats reality, as much as i wish it was different.. and he has lot the best of me, I have missed the best of him..that cannot be replaced, /...never!
most ppl dont understand, he wont know me, i wont know him, I have to channel my energy for other young people, because too much pain to hope for him, and not really possible, because IF i had lived with him, I could have given him all my love , my skill, my experience and support,
but another man enjoyed that, and the mother poisoned his mind.. so that he wont be the man he should have been
and his birthday was one of the hardest days of the year, and , as usual, i was alone,
and if there were a thousand people around me, i deal with it alone... no one cares ...thats just how it is..
it would be stupid if i thought that it is different,..
, I am am creative and positive person,,, but..there are things in my heart that u cannot solve.. too much pain. so i give my energy to other young people...that is productive
..not waiting for a miracle.. as often as possible ,
i played football with young men, of similar age to my son, I talk to them, guide them, laugh with them.. i will coach them in september..that its my "escape" from the reality and pain of my son..
I want to learn all languages, because its difficult to comprehend something that is so deeply emotional,
Bryan Adams - 18 Til I Die
Take Risks, but respect your body & soul, Dream, but balance between both worlds, remember ..."when experience talks ..listen" care about humanity..everyone and everywhere..but be true to your SELF too :)
To ;
Aurelie
"O'reilly" !!!
. i sent her some "reflection" from "C.R.S." my alternative ego (for contact with a very few people ) i look forward to your reaction and pics when u have time to post them on FB... cuvaj se! Slainte
From ChriS SmiTH
" I went to the farmers market, bought 3Kg of fresh tomatoes for 1e , then a private car gave me a lift to my road, then a smiling neighbour ..who speaks no english picked me up at the corner and brought me home, more "signs" ..yesterday the bus connections, ..
Marko's generosity.. the sun, the "hope bus"...it all feels defined..if u let it...dont miss this chance!
dont have to tell me to "be the best"..i am...when i have to be.. and thats enough for this planet...
C.R.S>
i am writing this after "farewell" @ the airport, and intentionally from "C.R.S." you will understand
the irony that my initials have.. (in fact during my wine days my sports car registration was "CRS7"
which attracted a lot of attention when i crossed so many times on the ferry to Calais, Boulogne, Dieppe etc..
I felt a difficult start with U, because i have u scattered pieces of the jigsaw...but even if
i allowed U to to "boss me" in a weak moment last night, so u escpaped my preferred "farewell party"..
I indeed wish you "all the besT"
words like "friend" are too easy to say, I hope one day that U do become a friend,
but if not at least an HONEST "enemy" as it often feels that modern women are destroying the best
of life, and even the best of their own gender (i have an FB group, called "weapons of MALE destruction"...)
yes i do have a sense of humour, u were not here long enough to enjoy the best of me,
just a "taste"
please allow me to advise you... even if i dont meet U again.. (i say that not only because
i warn U of the "danger" of being in my life, but for true reasons, (my time on this planet is more
limited than U know...) I got emotional because i KNOW i could support U, and enable some beautiful
evolution, before i leave for another dimension ....and start the eternal conflict all over again..
PLEASE be honest, not only with yourself, for example when that TV interviewer
asks your opinion, it may seem
insignificant to "tell them what they want to hear"..but too many times, small "lies" become habit
and that a large cause of the mess and madness on this planet..
U seemed in a hurry to leave, but i wanted to slow your departure, so I came with "Peter" ..(my favoutite taxi-driver)
hes reliable, and good fun...
u were already gone last night...but i wanted to hold your spirit for a few more minutes
Peter took me back to the bus station, i am going somwehere tomorrow , away from here for a couple of days
and i need to get really REALLY drunk and dance.. because it keeps me alive.. this morning i NEEDED to run
for my body, my mind and to clean my spirit of poisons that caught me, a little tired during the time
we were at Berlin, and that "hope guy" just reminded me how much energy I have to give..to do what i havew to do..
so i am WARNING you..DO NOT return....
do NOT return..UNLESS you are ready to be ALL you should be.. because i will not allow any other solution
Karma was often my enemy... because i provoked it, now it is probably my only true friend..
there is a destiny... you can take it or leave it
and i have an even greater "chapter " to live..
I dont need a book, a film or publicity, i have (almost) everything, but almost is how it should be..
there is no reason for my life if it was 100% so if my dream partner, who "yings my yang" dont arrive in
this dimension, i will search her in the next..
"freedom is just another name for nothing left to lose" and i win because I have nothing to lose..
you touched my soul, the energy i burn could light up the sun, (not only because i had no woman in the last 4 years,
i prefer to make love, not just "sex"!!) thats "extra info" ;) not for publication..!! ha ha...
be warned.. if U take the challenge you will experience more than u ever imagined...
and ..note... "when experience talks...listen";)
and (not only relevant to me) remember ......
."
should i write, about this "surprise"
arrived with a big bag and ..also big eyes..
a cautious start, you touch my heart,
then i was "made up" too
that we could share a day or two and the lake, with you,
i enjoyed the fun on the ambulance bus,
got to know a little of you, without any fuss,
btw check your toothpaste, she needs a lot??
she can down a rakija, or a tequila shot!
its a difficult thing to say "goodbye"
please be true to your potential,
and i know you can , dont ask me me why..
i dont expect to see you again
but i hope u know that being crazy is not being insane
"escaping the rakija made me smile
to see you laugh i would travel many a mile.."
Aurelie, be the best that you can...and will be... LIVE "
Crazy by Seal .... and ....(by G. Barclay...version) ;
alternatively
".... I remember when, I remember, remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.even your emotions have an echo in so much space
And when you're out there without care Yeah, I was out of touch-But it wasn't because I didn't know enough I just knew too much
Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy?
.Probably! ;) "
Stevie TESTIMONIAL ;
most complete player since EPL started, in defence or attack,
in the tackle, pass, free kicks & that shot! #GerrardTestimonial
@TonyBarretTimes @RedAlieNeT @Liverpool_FC_ yeah! the word is GO!...with F S G, standards corrupted &take rest of yr sh*te out of our club
anyway ...so that you are "warned"... short version ; of ME....
born to scots-english parents, grew up in Liverpool, in love with the "beatles", rock & soul music & "the REdS"
... started as "office boy" in London @ 16, without qualifications ..(migrain attacks as teenager &
love for football distracted me )
@ 19 was Logistic manager; married & adopted wife's 6 month old daughter,Sarah, we had son, Adam,
but wife ran off with a younger man (!) because I worked "too much" and divorced, (I payed 3rd my income for her & kids)
i changed employers, based Paris or London, and travelled throughout europe negociating in wine
services for each company, at 26 started own business, at 29 was millionaire, but fought with business
partner, and walked away with nothing. started freelance startegic managment, took me
all over the world (well, 1/2 of it)
I was married again, to the lovely Jaqui, who died 8 years ago, very young , of cancer..
1995 , after completeing a satelite network contract with Ukrainian Space Agency in Kiev, in the last week of finalising a pan-european multi-media project, based near Brussels I went into a "meningitis - induced coma"!
a week later I woke up and surrpised the doctor who "didnt think i would survive" - for the first time in my adult life I was "stopped" ...
I went "Alternative" had a new son "Leon" with a hippy girl (Annika) and later a daughter (Noela) with environmentalist (Margit)
both children were stolen from me by mothers with help from german state apparatus (which became part of 54
complaints made Verus "germoney" ) I organised human rights campaigns, ("human shields") ..a "Medinezt" for
illegal refugees, formed a Union to help people oppressed by govt. and moderated a "pirate" radio station,
made a journal. and so on...
I moved to belgian-flemish/ dtch regions, played in & organised international fun football parties & coached "for fun" and planned to drive to Ghana
to be volunteer coaching football & teaching english, but when I was in Bucharest , (february 2010) the
project got suspended so I came to Podgorica because of a "spontaneous invitation" from a Liverpool fan (I have
co-ordinated supporters meetings all over Europe) my vehicle BROKE on the jouurney and I came down the
mountains without brakes, and I discarded the vehicle here,
since then I have organised some fun events, Football meetings, a free academy, a not for profit club for visitors
have several "blogs" several Facebook groups , 3 web sites and write mostly in winter when its not so sunny...
often i get asked..
why am i here? I joke that I am a spy.... but main question is why should I leave???
some familiar scenes..:)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cool_Hand_Luke .... one of THE greatest ever films, beautiful ending..
